上一篇文章我们探讨了如何写中心句的四个策略,这篇文章我们接着谈谈中心句后面的内容的书写,也就是汉堡结构的蔬菜及酱料怎么烹制。
一、学生常见问题:
中心句写好了,后面不知道怎么接
很多学生学会了写“Others think I am positive, and I agree with them.”这样的中心句,但下一句就卡住了,只能写出:
I am positive. I like positive. (凑字数)
或者直接跳到下一个词,导致每个品质只有一句话,文章干瘪、无说服力。
本节课要解决的问题:
中心句后面,该从什么角度写?用什么句型写?
二、五个思考角度 + 对应句型
角度一:具体行为(我做了什么)
思考方向:这个品质让我做了什么具体的事?
句型库:
I always + 动词原形
eg: I always offer my seat to the elderly.
I often + 动词原形
eg: I often stay after class to help my classmates.
I usually + 动词原形 + when...
eg: I usually cheer my friends up when they feel sad.
I never + 动词原形
eg: I never give up when I face difficulties.
I have a habit of + doing
eg: I have a habit of reviewing my lessons every day.
I tend to + 动词原形
eg: I tend to look on the bright side of everything.
When + 场景, I + 动作
eg: When my friends are in trouble, I offer my help without hesitation.
教学话术:
“同学们,写完中心句后,问自己一个问题:这个品质让我平时喜欢做什么? 用'I always / often / usually'把这个行为写出来,读者就能通过你的行为看到你的品质。”
示例组合:
中心句:Others think I am helpful, and I agree with them.
行为句:I often stay after class to explain difficult problems to my deskmate.
角度二:具体事件/经历(我做过什么)
思考方向:有没有一件事能证明这个品质?
句型库:
For example, I once + 过去式
eg: For example, I once helped a new student find his way around our school.
For instance, one time I + 过去式
eg: For instance, one time I spent two hours teaching my cousin how to solve a math problem.
Once, I + 过去式
eg: Once, I volunteered to clean up the park with my classmates.
When I was in + 年级, I + 过去式
eg: When I was in Grade 8, I organized a book donation for kids in poor areas.
教学话术:
“如果你能用一个具体的小故事来证明你的品质,你的作文就从'说理'变成了'叙事',生动程度直接翻倍。记住:一个具体的事件 > 十个抽象的形容词。”
示例组合:
中心句:I believe I am positive.
事件句:For example, when I got a low score in math last term, I didn't feel down. Instead, I made a plan and worked harder.
角度三:结果/影响(带来了什么)
思考方向:这个品质给我带来了什么好结果?
句型库:
This helps me + 动词原形
eg: This helps me make more friends and learn more from others.
This makes me + 形容词
eg: This makes me a better person.
This allows me + to do
eg: This allows me to make progress step by step.
As a result, I + 结果
eg: As a result, I have gained the trust of my teachers and classmates.
Because of this, I + 结果
eg: Because of this, I have improved a lot in my studies.
That's why I + 结果
eg: That's why I am always surrounded by good friends.
教学话术:
“写完行为或事件后,再问自己一个问题:这个品质给我带来了什么好处? 用'This helps me...'或'Because of this...'引出结果,你的理由就完整了——有了'因为'(品质),也有了'所以'(结果)。”
示例组合:
中心句:Others think I am outgoing, and I agree with them.
行为句:I enjoy talking with different people and joining group activities.
结果句:This helps me make more friends and learn a lot from them.
角度四:他人反馈(别人怎么看待/评价)
思考方向:别人因为这个品质怎么看待我?
句型库:
My friends appreciate me for + 名词/doing
eg: My friends appreciate me for being kind and helpful.
My teachers often praise me for + 名词/doing
eg: My teachers often praise me for my hard work.
People around me trust me because + 句子
eg: People around me trust me because I am always honest.
My classmates enjoy + doing with me
eg: My classmates enjoy studying with me because I am patient.
教学话术:
“如果你觉得'自己夸自己'有点不好意思,那就借别人的嘴来夸你。'My teachers often praise me for...'比'I am good'有说服力得多。”
示例组合:
中心句:I believe I am responsible.
行为句:I always finish my tasks on time and check them carefully.
反馈句:My teachers often praise me for my careful work.
角度五:对比反衬(没有这个品质会怎样 / 和别人有什么不同)
思考方向:和其他人比,我有什么不同?如果没有这个品质会怎样?
句型库:
Unlike others who + 动作, I + 动作
eg: Unlike others who give up easily, I keep trying until I succeed.
Instead of + doing, I + 动作
eg: Instead of feeling upset, I cheer myself up and try again.
While some people + 动作, I + 动作
eg: While some people worry about failures, I see them as chances to learn.
Without this quality, I might + 动作
eg: Without this quality, I might not have made so much progress.
教学话术:
“对比是最好的说明方式。你说自己'坚持',但如果大家都坚持,你的品质就不突出了。所以你要说'Unlike others who give up easily, I keep trying'——通过和别人不一样来凸显你的品质。”
示例组合:
中心句:Some may think I am quiet, but actually I am persistent.
对比句:Unlike others who give up easily when facing difficulties, I keep trying until I work out the problem.
事件句:Once I spent a whole weekend solving a difficult math problem, and I finally made it.
三、考场最佳组合方案(中心句 + 后面句子)
第一个词 我认为 +具体行为+结果
eg: I believe I am creative. I enjoy turning boring tasks into interesting challenges. This makes learning more fun for me and my classmates.
第二个词 别人说+我认同+具体事件
eg: Others think I am positive, and I agree with them. For example, when I got a low score in math, I didn't feel down. Instead, I made a plan and worked harder.
第三个词 让步转折 +具体事件+他人反馈
eg: Some may think I am quiet, but actually I am helpful. Once my deskmate had trouble with physics. I drew a picture and guided her until she understood. She thanked me and said I was a great partner.
组合原则:
· 三个段落的中心句用不同策略
· 三个段落的事例角度也尽量不重复
· 形成 “策略多样、角度丰富” 的高分段落
四、完整示范作文(标注角度与句型)
If I'm asked to describe myself with three words, they will be positive, creative, and helpful.
First, I believe I am creative. I enjoy turning boring tasks into interesting ones. For example, I made history dates into a funny story with pictures. My classmates loved it.
Second, others think I am positive, and I agree with them. When I got a low score in math, I didn't feel down. Instead, I made a plan and caught up soon.
Third, some may think I am quiet, but actually I am helpful. Once my deskmate had trouble with physics. I drew a picture and guided her until she understood it herself.
These qualities make me who I am and bring joy to those around me.
五个角度速查:
①具体行为(I always/often...)
②具体事件(For example, I once...)
③结果影响(This helps me...)
④他人反馈(My friends appreciate...)
⑤对比反衬(Unlike others...)
总结口诀
中心句,四种法,句句不重样。
后面接,五个角,段段有内容。
行为事件加结果,他人反馈加对比。
写完自检三句话:有品质,有事例,有感受。