📚 中考作文加油站 · 第35期(逐句修改）

This is the last composition from the six essays Tony wrote in one weekend.
这是Tony那个高产周末一次性写的六篇作文中的最后一篇。

He said that writing so many compositions helped him find his weak points clearly.
他说，一次性写这么多作文，让他更清楚地发现了自己的薄弱点。

He found that tense, There be sentences and daily expressions still need more practice.
他发现时态、There be句型以及日常表达，仍然需要继续加强。

But this is also the meaning of writing.
而这正是写作文的意义。

📝 本期作文主题
A Visit to My Uncle’s Home
去叔叔家做客的一次经历

Students need to write clearly about time, place, people, activities and feelings.
学生需要清楚写出时间、地点、人物、活动以及感受。

The key point is to make the story complete and natural.
重点是让整篇文章完整且自然。

✏ 逐句修改
❌ 原句1
Last month, my mother and I went to my uncle’s home.
✅Last month, my mother and I visited my uncle’s home.
上个月，我和妈妈去了叔叔家做客。
visit 比 go to 更符合“去亲戚家做客”的表达
mother 比 mom 在作文里正式

❌ 原句2
There were many interesting things that my brother and I could play.
✅There were many interesting things for my cousin and me to play with.
那里有很多有趣的东西可以让我和堂弟一起玩。
🔎 play with sth.
🔎 brother 如果是堂兄弟，更准确可用 cousin

❌ 原句3
For example, there had a big toy car.
✅For example, there was a big toy car.
例如，那里有一辆很大的玩具车。
🔎There be句型一定要牢记！

❌ 原句4
My brother made it by himself.
✅My cousin made it by himself.
我的堂弟自己做了它。
🔎 保持前后人物一致

❌ 原句5
Then, we played the computer games and had a dinner.
✅Then, we played computer games and had dinner together.
然后，我们一起玩电脑游戏，还一起吃了晚饭。
🔎 play computer games 前面不要 the
🔎 have dinner 前面不要 a

❌ 原句6
We also had a good time.
✅We had a wonderful time together.
我们一起度过了非常愉快的时光。
🔎 wonderful 比 good 更高级，更像高分作文