2019 济南中考英语作文|书信类「自荐信」:一句主张,一句证据

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2019 济南中考英语作文|书信类「自荐信」:一句主张,一句证据
先记住这十个字:写一句“我能行”,就要跟一句“凭什么”。

2019 这道「自荐做英语志愿者」,是七年里唯一一道自荐信——考的不是“你想不想去”,是“你凭什么让我选你”。这一篇最容易出现的问题,是通篇在表决心,一个证据都没有。

2019 济南中考英语作文|书信类「自荐信」:一句主张,一句证据-第1张图片-四季读书网

先看题目

假定你是李华,你在网上得知会展中心将在 7 月举办一场国际文化博览会,正在招募英语志愿者。请你给会展中心负责外事工作的 Mr. White 写一封英文自荐信。

内容包括:

1. 擅长英语;
2. 善于沟通;
3. 有相关经历。

注意:词数 100 左右,开头和结尾已给出,不计入总词数;可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯;不得出现真实的人名、校名等相关信息。

参考词汇:博览会 exposition 申请 apply to

已给开头:Dear Mr. White, I'm writing to apply to be a volunteer for the coming exposition.

先说清这封信的三个要点怎么排:

题目给了三点,但它们是两种性质:
「擅长英语」和「善于沟通」是你的能力——用一般现在时写;
「有相关经历」是你做过的事——用一般过去时写。
三段话里出现两种时态,这是自荐信的结构,不是语病。

最容易丢分的一个地方

只有主张,没有证据。这是自荐信的头号丢分点,也是最好补的一处。

❌ I am good at English and I like talking with people.——谁都能这么写,阅卷人没法信。
✅ 每一句主张后面,跟一句具体的事:
· 擅长英语 → I won first prize in the school English speech competition held last year.
· 善于沟通 → I often help my classmates with their English, and they enjoy talking with me.
· 相关经历 → Last summer, I worked as a volunteer in a museum, where I helped foreign visitors know more about China.
三个要点,三个证据。这一条做到,这篇就稳了。

还有一个分寸问题:自荐信要自信,但别吹。证据要“小”而可信——校内比赛、班级里帮忙、社区志愿服务,都很好;写“获得国际大奖”“接待过外国代表团”,阅卷人一眼就知道是编的,反而扣印象分。

三段结构(照着写,20 分能拿 15 分以上)

段落
写什么
模板句
第一段
身份+擅长英语
先交代你是谁
I'm a middle school student and will graduate this June.
I like English and I learn it quite well.
I won first prize in the school English speech competition held last year.
第二段
性格+沟通+经历
两个要点,各带证据
Besides
, I'm outgoing and helpful, and I'm good at communicating with others. I often help my classmates with their English, and they enjoy talking with me.
What's more, I have some experience. Last summer, I worked as a volunteer in a museum, where I helped foreign visitors know more about China.
第三段
匹配表态
结尾句已给,别重复
I believe I am fit for the job, and I will try my best to do it well.
(结尾已给:I'm looking forward to your reply.)

能抄的句型清单

这一栏建议你抄在本子上,早读念三遍。自荐信、申请信、竞选发言,这九句换换名词全都能用。

用途
英文
身份句
I'm a middle school student and will graduate this June.
能力主张
I like English and I learn it quite well.
证据一
I won first prize in the school English speech competition held last year.
性格句
Besides, I'm outgoing and helpful, and I'm good at communicating with others.
证据二
I often help my classmates with their English, and they enjoy talking with me.
引出经历
What's more, I have some experience.
证据三
Last summer, I worked as a volunteer in a museum, where I helped foreign visitors know more about China.
匹配表态
I believe I am fit for the job, and I will try my best to do it well.
经历收获
Through that experience, I learnt how to work with others and how to explain things clearly.

三档范文对照

满分版(20 分档)

Dear Mr. White,

I'm writing to apply to be a volunteer for the coming exposition.

I'm a middle school student and will graduate this June. I like English and I learn it quite well. I won first prize in the school English speech competition held last year.

Besides, I'm outgoing and helpful, and I'm good at communicating with others. I often help my classmates with their English, and they enjoy talking with me. What's more, I have some experience. Last summer, I worked as a volunteer in a museum, where I helped foreign visitors know more about China.

I believe I am fit for the job, and I will try my best to do it well.

I'm looking forward to your reply.

Yours,
Li Hua

降一档(15 分档)

Dear Mr. White,

I'm writing to apply to be a volunteer for the coming exposition.

I am a middle school student. I am good at English. I am friendly and I like talking with people. I also have some experience, so I think I can do the job well.

I hope you can choose me.

Yours,
Li Hua

降两档(10—12 分档)

Dear Mr. White,

I'm writing to apply to be a volunteer for the coming exposition.

I am Li Hua. I like English very much. I am a good student. I hope you can let me join you.

Yours,
Li Hua

两档都掉在哪

降一档:三个要点都在,但一句证据也没有。

“I am good at English”“I like talking with people”“I have some experience”——三句主张,零个事实。阅卷人读到的是一份空简历。
更要紧的是:“有相关经历”这一条只写了 I also have some experience,连“什么经历”都没写,等于没答要点。
改法:三条各补一句具体事——比赛得奖、帮同学、做过志愿者,一句话就够,关键是必须有。

降两档:要点丢了大半,只有“我很想”没有“我能”。

只写了“喜欢英语”,“善于沟通”“有相关经历”两条完全没写;篇幅不到要求的一半;结尾突然一句“hope you can let me join”,不像自荐信,像请求信。
改法:动笔前在草稿纸上列三个词——英语 / 沟通 / 经历,一条一句话,逐条打钩。这题三个要点是硬性的,漏一条掉一档。

一个只有一线老师才给得出的提醒:

这篇和 2020 的邀请函是一对:一封请别人来(邀请函),一封求别人带我(自荐信)。
骨架完全一样:目的句 → 分层事项 → 礼貌收尾;差别在第二段是“安排”还是“证据”。
另外提醒时态:能力用现在时,经历用过去时。2020 那篇是活动用将来时——三封信三种时态,别串。

今晚可以做的三件事

  1. 把那九句抄一个本子上。明天早读念三遍,重点念三个“证据句”。
  2. 把三档范文抄一遍,只抄英文。抄完盖住满分版,只看降一档,问自己:它的三条主张,分别缺哪句证据?
  3. 让孩子现在就编三个自己的证据:一场比过赛(哪怕班级的)、一次帮过谁、一次做过什么志愿的事。编不出来,说明经历太薄,平时要留意攒。

你家孩子写自荐信,是不是也只会写“我很努力”?留言告诉我,我挑几个回。

七年真题的逐篇拆解都在合集「济南中考英语作文真题拆解」里,一篇一个题型,点我头像就能看到。

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