高分范文 | 4月25日雅思笔试写作真题全解析

题目解读

话题分类：属于环境类 + 交通/旅游类的交叉话题。

核心讨论：为了减少污染和资源消耗，是否应该限制航空旅行。属于中高频率话题。

Agree:

R: pollution to people moved ratio not favorable

E: restrict to travel in groups

Disagree:

R: ensure future sustainability

E: people’s time today vs people’s lives in the future

高分范文

The argument that the aviation industry’s dependency on finite resources and resulting pollutionwarrants its restriction is the topic of discussion. I generally agree with this idea because air travel is an inefficient travel method in terms of its emissions and it is an obstacle to a sustainable future.

Firstly, to buttress the case for flight restrictions, I want to focus on the fuel inefficiency of air travel. Compared to a high-speed rail train, planes’ capacity appears to be unacceptably inadequate. Though I am no expert, high-speed trains in my country can transport around a thousand passengers comfortably, while a large plane can hold perhaps two hundred people. Now, if we look at the fuel source of these options, jet fuel for planes and electricity for modern trains, the reality of plane travel looks even uglier: the burning of jet fuel leaves carbon dioxide in the atmosphere for centuries, contributing to our ongoing climate crisis, while electricity generation is becoming greener and renewable by the year, helping us mitigate the effects of man-made climate change. In short, planes move fewer people at a higher pollution cost, making it a less-than-ideal option and marking itself as a clear target for regulations.

Continuing on the thread of the climate, keeping crude oil, the source of jet fuel, in the ground is necessary for the long-term survival of life on earth. The UN continues to report record breaking global temperatures and plead for direct and immediate action to reduce emissions and replace fossil fuels, or else the planet will no longer be able to sustain life as we know it. With this in mind, the convenience offered by a direct flight instead of other, less polluting, forms of transportation becomes selfishness. There is no moral justification for saving a few hours of our time by robbing future generations of the opportunity to see a clear sky or green trees. Consequently, strict limitations to phase out commercial flights is a necessity for the sake of the planet.

In summary, I wholeheartedly agree with the restriction of air travel to reduce pollution and resource extraction.

评分标准角度分析

• Task Response（题目回应）：文章立场明确（agree with restriction），并且始终围绕“航空旅行因资源消耗和污染应受限制”这一核心论点展开，完全回应了题目要求。主体段分别从“燃油效率低于高铁”和“化石燃料对气候的不可逆伤害”两个角度充分论证，并给出了具体的比较数据和未来后果，论证充实有力。

• Coherence & Cohesion（连贯与衔接）：段落之间逻辑推进清晰：第一段提出总体观点，第二段比较交通方式，第三段上升至道德与生存层面，结尾总结，结构完整易读。使用了丰富的衔接手段，如“Firstly”、“to buttress the case”、“Continuing on the thread of the climate”、“In summary”，以及段落内部的“In short”、“Consequently”等，行文流畅自然。

• Grammatical Range & Accuracy（语法范围与准确性）：句式结构丰富，包括复合句（“Though I am no expert...”）、条件句（“if we look at...”）、比较结构（“planes move fewer people at a higher pollution cost”）以及长定语从句，无明显语法错误。能正确使用复杂标点和连接词（如“while”、“making it...”、“or else”），整体语法控制力好，句子表达清晰且不单调。

• Lexical Resource（词汇资源）：词汇选择准确且多样，如“dependency on finite resources”、“buttress the case”、“unacceptably inadequate”、“phase out commercial flights”等，展示了较好的搭配能力能够使用学术化表达和情感色彩适中的词汇（如“selfishness”、“no moral justification”、“robbing future generations”），既有力又不夸张，符合雅思6-7分段的词汇水平。

*本篇范文来自学为贵写作讲师黄德宝，请勿盗用

黄德宝

雅思写作8.5分，阅读9分，总分8.5

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