People who repeatedly give unwanted advice can be well-meaning and genuinely want to help. Others might do this out of a sense of self-worth around the ability to influence others. One study found that people with a high tendency to seek power were more likely to give advice than those with an opposite tendency.
那些反复给出多余建议的人，可能本意是好的，也真心想提供帮助。也有一些人这么做，是因为能影响他人会让他们产生自我价值感。一项研究发现，权力欲较强的人，比权力欲较弱的人更爱给别人提建议。
Under the guise(外表)of unselfishness, people may be driven to give you unwanted advice because it makes them feel powerful or in control. They may not be fully aware of this drive,however.
有些人看似无私，实则是为了让自己感到有权力、能掌控局面，才不断向你灌输多余的建议。不过，他们自己可能并未完全意识到这种动机。
These people may also display a problematic degree of emotional vulnerability,becoming upset very quickly, and taking a long time to calm down. It is possible that their emotions were only validated in childhood when they were at their loudest, encouraging them to adopt responses to discomfort that are excessive in most situations.
这类人往往还存在明显的情绪脆弱问题，极易烦躁不安，且需要很长时间才能平复情绪。这可能是因为他们在童年时期，只有在情绪最激动、声音最大时，才能获得情感上的认可，这使得他们在面对不适时，会采取在多数场合都显得过激的反应方式。
When someone is giving advice in order to make themselves feel more powerful, there is underlying anxiety to their behavior that recipients of the advice tend to notice. It can be tempting in this situation to react harshly to the advice giver and to accuse them of being manipulative, but this approach might produce an undesirable result.
当一个人提建议只是为了让自己显得更有权力时，其行为背后潜藏的焦虑，往往会被听取建议的一方察觉。这种情况下，人们很容易对提建议者出言刻薄，指责对方刻意操控他人，但这样做往往会适得其反。
If the act of giving advice is contributing actively to someone's feelings of self-worth, an outright(直率的) rejection may be perceived as a threat,activating their fight-or-flight response,possibly causing them to double down on their validation-seeking behavior,or leading to a larger conflict.
如果提建议这件事本身就在维系一个人的自我价值感，那么直接干脆的拒绝会被其视作威胁，进而触发其“战斗或逃跑”的应激反应——可能会让他们更加执着地寻求认可，甚至引发更大的冲突。
The key is to validate without over-identifying. You can let them know that you have heard them and appreciate where they are coming from without taking on the potentially damaging narrative that you could not have gotten by without their help.You had better say something like,“Thanks for the idea. I have my own plan for handling this, but I really appreciate your perspective and will take it into consideration. Can I let you know when I need help in the future?”
应对的关键在于：认可对方的心意，但不认同其强加的观点。你可以让对方知道你听进去了，也理解其出发点，但不必接受“没有他的帮助你就办不成事”这种伤人的说法。你可以这样说：“谢谢你的建议。这件事我有自己的处理办法，但真的很感谢你的看法，我会认真考虑的。以后我需要帮忙的时候再告诉你，可以吗？”
If you have trouble setting boundaries tactfully, prioritize working on your own ability to self-regulate. As uncomfortable as it may make you continuously receiving unwanted advice,if you can respond with compassion, the situation will likely diffuse much faster.
如果你难以委婉地设立界限，那就先着重提升自我情绪调节的能力。即便不断收到多余的建议让你很不舒服，但若你能带着体谅去回应，局面通常会更快缓和下来。
Though it is usually not the intended outcome of giving unsolicited advice,many who receive it often feel stressed, offended, or simply annoyed by unwanted suggestions. Setting a boundary in this regard, if you feel you need one, is perfectly reasonable and something that can bring you increased emotional safety.
尽管主动给别人提建议的人通常并非有意为之，但很多收到建议的人，往往会因此感到压力、被冒犯，或是单纯觉得厌烦。如果你有需要，为此设立界限完全合情合理，也能让你获得更多情绪上的安全感。
It is best to set boundaries in a way that takes into account the individual's underlying reasons for doing what they are doing to avoid unnecessary conflict and more stress.
设立界限时，最好兼顾对方做出这类行为的深层原因，从而避免不必要的矛盾和更多的压力。
重点词汇注释
unwanted advice：多余的建议、不请自来的建议
out of a sense of self-worth：出于自我价值感
under the guise of：以……为幌子、打着……的旗号
emotional vulnerability：情绪脆弱
fight-or-flight response：战斗或逃跑反应（应激反应）
double down on：加倍坚持、变本加厉
set boundaries tactfully：委婉地设立界限
self-regulate：自我调节
unsolicited advice：主动提出的、未经请求的建议
